Putting the Dyke Back in RV-as-a-Verb

Bill’s trailer had the right price–cheap, but I started to be wary when he led us back on the highway. We followed the sound of the Harley, his leather jacket with the full-back eagle patch, and the American flag that whipped along from its perch on the bike seat.

I was stereotyping, I’ll admit it.

Our first appointment was with Bill, who told us to meet him in a Taco Bell parking lot in Salem, OR. He said he’d lead us back to his property on his Harley with the small front wheel.

We’d made the journey to Portland and environs to look for travel trailers that might be cheaper than the ones up in the Big City–well, Big for this corner of the country, anyway. There was another draw: our new brakes needed to be broken in for 200-400 miles before we could tow with them, and Portland was just the right distance.

Bill’s trailer was well in our price range, but I started to be wary when he led us back onto the highway. We followed the sound of the Harley, his leather jacket with the full-back eagle patch, and the American flag that whipped along from its perch on the bike seat.

“We don’t have to tell him about our trip.” I said to Ami. “Where is he taking us? Why don’t you text T with his information so if something happens, at least he’ll get caught.” Then, “Nobody needs to know we’re dykes.”

That’s what I said out loud. In my head I plotted how I would stand by the back door of the car, waiting for any reason to open the tailgate and release our big-for-a-Pit-small-for-a-Mastiff protectress.

When we got to Bill’s property, none of my fears were assuaged–at least not by the deserted look of the place. The trailer was parked well behind the house, and his backyard stretched out as far behind us as we could see. If anyone else was home inside the house, we had no way of knowing. Every window facing us was covered in plastic. Continue reading “Putting the Dyke Back in RV-as-a-Verb”

Progress and Setbacks

The plan goes something like this:

Step 1: Sell car. (Check.)
Step 2: Buy car with towing capability. (Check.)
Step 3: Freak out and wonder if this is a good idea. (Check.)
Step 4: Have crappy laptop you just bought a month ago stop taking a charge. Call tech support and cry when you are told to mail the laptop to Texas and wait for its return 7-10 days later–3-6 days after you’d planned to leave Seattle. (Check.)
Step 5: Buy travel trailer. (This is an updated plan, since motorhomes are apparently unsafe for potential projectiles, like dogs, and their targets, us. Eventual.)
Step 6: Download WordPress app and use iPhone to update blog while in-house tech support, also known as my wife, tries to fix computer. (In progress.)
Step 7: Wonder what the Universe is trying to tell you, or if the Universe has any interest in your petty concerns, or if it has any knowledge of electronics, or if it even is capable of knowledge or consciousness. (Ongoing.)
Step 8: Remind yourself that it’s nearing 11 p.m., and you might as well think about all of it tomorrow.
Step 9: Stop writing and sleep.

Fighting for My Family and Supporting Yours–All at the Same Time

Do we have to throw single parents under the bus in order to make the point that we are capable of creating good families?

Yesterday my Twitter home page briefly filled with a link to an article claiming to have “Answers to arguments against gay marriage.” Of course I was interested, since I can imagine that over the course of our trip we will have some dissent to address. Though I feel pretty confident that I can defend my marriage, getting some new talking points is never a bad idea.

The article was from a blog called Burning or building bridges in the community?, and seems to be geared toward people working within their faith organizations to gain support for marriage equality. [The post credits another blog with the talking points, www.loveisanorientation.com, but I was unable to find the post on that blog.] I’m not the intended audience for the points, so if they didn’t enthrall me, that’s not to say they’re not good points.

But one of the points really disturbed me:

5.) Courts will not be able to favor a traditional family involving one man and one woman over a homosexual couple in matters of adoption.

To be realistic, gays will never know the joy of bringing their own children up together, yet looking at the way we just throw away children or abuse them, it would seem we don’t value them so much. To me, one baby in the hands of a gay couple is better than one baby in a dumpster. No it’s not ideal, but we must work with what we have to get the best situation we can. Having a kid in a single sex household is no more damaging than having a child raised in a single parent household, which is legal. With two parents at least, you have more of a chance for stability. Yet, it is the better option that we are trying to outlaw. [Emphasis mine]

As a child of a single-parent home, I was pretty offended by that. I will agree that it’s not as easy to be a single parent. Discussing this article with a single mom friend this morning, she said, “Yeah, when I was sick last week, I couldn’t sing to my daughter. There was nobody else to sing to her, so she went without singing for a few days.”

Do we have to throw single parents under the bus in order to make the point that we are capable of creating good families? Is it really “not ideal” to have gay couples as parents? Continue reading “Fighting for My Family and Supporting Yours–All at the Same Time”

What Would Jesus Drive?

…if you’ve found your way here because we’re too excited to wait, and we’ve built and quietly spoken about our site, know that this is yet a work in progress. We have to rehome Helen and find a viable, cheap–did I say cheap?–motorhome in order to make it happen.

When it does happen, my wife Ami and I, our six-month-old daughter FJ, and our two not-so-small dogs, Hank and Esmerelda, will load up into our motorhome and leave Seattle. Thus will begin our slow tour of the states (and the District) that recognize our 2008 California Summer of Love marriage. And all the states in between.

You may or may not know this, but we haven’t launched this site yet. See, our trip hinges on the sale of our car. In order to take the trip, we have to bring our dogs. And though we love our Honda Element, the idea of traveling across the country in that little box with two not-so-small dogs is unappealing–kind of like the guillotine is unappealing. The Element, also known as the Helenment, or Helen for short, is great for taking the dogs on small-scale road trips. The seats are neoprene; the floors are rubber.

For this trip we plan to buy a motorhome. Though I’ve entertained fantasies about living out my retirement years in a trailer working at a National Park in the gift shop and living full time in one of the best places on the planet, motorhoming as a verb has never really appealed to me. I guess that’s not 100% true. When I visited New Zealand there were these great motorhomes that people built themselves out of wood and other normal house materials on flatbed trucks. Those were tempting. And Airstream trailers are little bullets from heaven. But put me on a highway next to one of those bus-like monsters complete with car caboose, and I feel a little ill. I don’t have the smallest footprint on the planet, but I know conspicuous consumption when I see it. Continue reading “What Would Jesus Drive?”

#yaygay

I’ve been collecting queermos to follow on Twitter, and quickly my Twitter page filled with tweets with the hashtag #yaygay. I guess @dorothysnarker publicized it, but @thelinster started it as a counter-trend.

And the trend took off. I contributed my share, too, and it overtook not only the homophobic trending topic, but reached #1, beating out even Follow Friday.

Twitter Trending Topics 9/4/09
Twitter Trending Topics 9/4/09

Oh, Twitter. How I love you.

Today there was a homophobic Twitter topic, #uknowhowiknowugay, or something like that. I paid no attention except to grimace a little. I guess it says something about how ubiquitous homophobia is (or how jaded I can be) that I can see it and just avert my eyes.

Well, luckily not everyone feels that way. I’ve been collecting queermos to follow on Twitter, and quickly my Twitter page filled with tweets with the hashtag #yaygay. I guess @dorothysnarker publicized it, but @thelinster started it as a counter-trend.

And the trend took off. I contributed my share, too, and it overtook not only the homophobic trending topic, but reached #1, beating out even Follow Friday.

My screen was blurry from tears. If you know me, you won’t be surprised by that. Nothing pumps my tear ducts like people coming together to do something good for the world.

Maybe it’s a small thing. Doesn’t take much to jump on a trend and contribute 140 characters. Only the tweeters of the world see it. Soon some dead celebrity or “Goodnight” (which really should be two words, tweeps, unless it’s an adjective) will replace it at the top spot. But it’s momentum. It’s energy. It’s love.

And love is what this fight is all about. Thank you, Twitterverse, for the boost.

Oh, and yay gay!

Approve Referendum 71

Here in Washington State, we are having our own Prop 8 moment. There are some important differences between Prop 8 and Referendum 71, which will be on November’s ballot (unless Washington Families Standing Together’s lawsuit, described after the jump, is successful).

Here in Washington State, we are having our own Prop 8 moment. There are some important differences between Prop 8 and Referendum 71, which will be on November’s ballot (unless Washington Families Standing Together’s lawsuit, described after the jump, is successful):

  • To support the rights of same-sex couples, you have to vote to APPROVE R-71.
  • Washington legislators and our Governor have not approved marriage, just inclusion in all of the state laws and codes that apply to marriage. The law is referred to as “everything but marriage,” because in every way registered domestic partners in our state will have the same rights as married people. We just won’t be called married.
  • We’re going to win.

Now, I’m not a big supporter of half-measures. I believe that domestic partnership is a separate-but-equal policy. Civil unions are bullshit, Mr. President, unless everyone gets them, not just the queers.

(That would probably be my preference, if I were running this place. Anyone who wanted to get married could do so in their place of worship. The states would have the power to perform civil unions only. And as far as special rights for those who had civil unions, I think those are questionable. But if you’re going to give them to some people, you’d better give them to everyone. But I digress….)

Two days ago, the WA Secretary of State’s office announced that the number of signatures needed to get Referendum 71 on the ballot had been reached. This was, coincidentally, the day before Vermont’s everything-AND-marriage law went into effect, making Vermont the sixth state to grant marriages to same-sex couples. One step forward….

The Back Story
Early this year, a large majority of the WA House and Senate passed the everything-but-marriage bill. Continue reading “Approve Referendum 71”